Ever since I was little, creativity has been in my nature. When I was young, I would bring the entirety of my dresser out into the living room for costume changes during whichever musical I decided I wanted to perform that day. There was dancing and singing along to Bye Bye Birdie whether I had […]
“Excuse me, but what are those?” “What the hell did you do, blow up a grenade on yourself?” “You should cover that up.” “Those are insane!” “What’s wrong with your skin?” “Everyone’s going to judge you, you know.” “I personally think scars are sexy.” All of these comments were uttered to me by total strangers […]
Welcome beautiful people of the internet! I’m Jay, coming at you with my first ever blog post. I know that you’re probably struggling with something (hence your presence on this website) and have somehow in someway stumbled upon this blog post to find some sort of relief or guidance. I have compiled a completely self-written […]
Mental illnesses command the atmosphere like tornadoes, spinning everything around in circles until we are stuck sorting through the aftermath of a once healthy life. They tear through homes, through friendships, through careers; they do it relentlessly and without apology. Mental illness hit me hard in college. I was failing classes. I had taken a […]
“Do you have a plan?” The words make me wince. I shift uncomfortably in my seat because I don’t know the answer. I wait for him to change the subject, but when I look back up my therapist is looking intently at me, his hands folded in front of him, patiently. A year ago, when […]
In the middle of December in 2015 I lost my best friend to suicide. The holidays were instantly a dreadful thought to me. I’ve never really had a good family life, so I’ve always made sure my friends knew that I treated them like family, especially during this time of year. She was my kindest […]
I watched the summer tumble into autumn from the window of my hospital room. The colors seemed to burst, all at once, like a firework. Autumn was always my favorite season and always the best time of year for my mental health. Every year, with the falling of the leaves came the lifting of my […]
The holidays are coming up, and that means one thing: lots of food. From your grandma telling you to eat seconds, or thirds…or fourths, to the people telling everyone how they’re living it up before they start dieting as part of their new year’s resolution to get healthy. They all mean well, and many of […]
Grey and red converse. Holey jeans. A grey Kings of Leon concert shirt. The concrete floor and walls closing in on me as I process snippets of the words pouring out of my cellphone. “Suicide…” “Shot…” “At home…” “Gathering tonight…” “Need to attend…” My chest tightened. My stomach churned. I fell to my knees, pulling […]
This year I was presented with the opportunity to become a member of the walk committee for our community Out of the Darkness Walk, and it was the best decision I have ever made. The Out of Darkness Walks, developed by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, are community walks to raise awareness and funds […]