“Do you have a plan?” The words make me wince. I shift uncomfortably in my seat because I don’t know the answer. I wait for him to change the subject, but when I look back up my therapist is looking intently at me, his hands folded in front of him, patiently. A year ago, when […]
In the middle of December in 2015 I lost my best friend to suicide. The holidays were instantly a dreadful thought to me. I’ve never really had a good family life, so I’ve always made sure my friends knew that I treated them like family, especially during this time of year. She was my kindest […]
I watched the summer tumble into autumn from the window of my hospital room. The colors seemed to burst, all at once, like a firework. Autumn was always my favorite season and always the best time of year for my mental health. Every year, with the falling of the leaves came the lifting of my […]
The holidays are coming up, and that means one thing: lots of food. From your grandma telling you to eat seconds, or thirds…or fourths, to the people telling everyone how they’re living it up before they start dieting as part of their new year’s resolution to get healthy. They all mean well, and many of […]
Grey and red converse. Holey jeans. A grey Kings of Leon concert shirt. The concrete floor and walls closing in on me as I process snippets of the words pouring out of my cellphone. “Suicide…” “Shot…” “At home…” “Gathering tonight…” “Need to attend…” My chest tightened. My stomach churned. I fell to my knees, pulling […]
This year I was presented with the opportunity to become a member of the walk committee for our community Out of the Darkness Walk, and it was the best decision I have ever made. The Out of Darkness Walks, developed by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, are community walks to raise awareness and funds […]
Sometimes it feels like society says you should be always happy, and that showing your sadness is a sign of weakness. This is far from true – if you were to hold in all your sadness or anger you would explode. We all have good and bad days. No one can be perfectly happy all […]
The summer before my freshman year of high school I decided that after years of putting golf to the side I was going to try and learn again, hopeful that I could play on our high school team. In the months before that summer I had been struggling with the grief of my mother’s death, […]
One of the hardest parts about dealing with Bipolar Disorder is the unpredictable mood swings. Originally I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder, but recently was told by my doctor that I am probably dealing with Bipolar 2 Disorder because I do not have full-blown manic episodes. Either way, not knowing when a depressive episode […]
My own personal story with self-harm began in ninth grade. I can remember sitting in my room feeling overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t know what to do so I turned to self-harm. I had remembered that a friend of mine in seventh grade had struggled with self-harm. I knew how hard it was for her […]