From Grief to Advocacy: Why Schools Must Prioritize Youth Mental Health

CW: Suicide

When I was twelve years old, I walked onto my middle school campus for what seemed like an ordinary morning. The air was cold, and the skies were unusually gray for spring––a Friday the thirteenth on a chilly May day. As I went through the motions of my usual routine, walking to my locker and preparing for the school day ahead, something stopped me in my tracks. Wait, why is everyone around me crying? 

Teachers, students, and classroom aides— they were all around me in tears. Time seemed to be moving slower as my adolescent brain struggled to make sense of what I was seeing. One of my teachers was holding a burly athlete, his tears soaking her shoulder. Then, my sister comes running toward me, out of breath and also in tears. After what felt like an eternity, she managed to release the words: “He’s gone.”

My small-town middle school did its best to explain how an 8th grader we all considered a friend had died by suicide, but how do you even begin to make sense of that? When I finally called my dad and told him what I’d learned, I even heard him crying softly into the phone. That day, every parent’s heart was broken, whether they knew him personally or not. Losing a child to suicide is a parent’s worst nightmare, and I imagine their sadness over his passing was coupled with an alarming thought: it could have been my child.

After losing my friend, I couldn’t help but wonder what more could have been done—what signs we missed, or what resources we didn’t know about. It was a question that stayed with me, and eventually led me to pursue my career in mental health and suicide prevention. While I’ve seen some progress over the past fourteen years in how society is reducing the stigma around mental health, there are still many ways we can better advocate for it in schools.

1.) Raise awareness among students, educators, and parents.

Before losing my friend, I had never been exposed to information about suicide prevention, warning signs, or mental health resources. While some parents may worry that children aren’t mature enough to handle this information, suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among youth. To help prevent youth suicide, I believe parents must intentionally discuss mental health, stress management, and available resources with their children from an early age.

In my opinion, it’s essential that teachers, parents, and other adults who interact with children are familiar with public resources like the 988 Lifeline. Available 24/7 across the United States, this service connects people of all ages with trained counselors who can help with personal struggles or emotional crises. Since its launch as the three-digit “988” number in July 2022, the 988 Lifeline has connected over 10 million texts, calls, and chats to trained counselors nationwide.

2.) Empowering youth to actually use available resources.

Youth are a high-risk population for suicidal ideation and death, yet many are reluctant to seek help. According to the National Library of Medicine, 58% of students surveyed reported being hesitant to seek help for mental health concerns at their school. As young people navigate their mental health journeys, I have witnessed how they often lack the self-esteem or confidence to reach out for lifesaving resources unless they are encouraged to do so by trusted adults or peers in their lives. 

Before I became a full-time employee with Vibrant Emotional Health and the 988 Lifeline, I volunteered as a digital counselor with the Trevor Project. During my time there, many of the youth contacts I chatted with apologized to me for taking up space—despite their emotional pain being real and urgent. While this is heartbreaking, it also presents an opportunity for adults to remind the young people in their lives that their struggles are valid and worthy of seeking help.

3.) Establish emotional safety in schools year-round, not just in response to a crisis.

In my experience, schools often wait until after a crisis occurs before addressing suicide with students and staff for the first time. Adopting proactive measures in schools can empower students to seek support when they need it and to recognize when their peers may need help. Normalizing ongoing conversations about mental health, implementing intentional anti-bullying policies, and creating safe spaces for open dialogue are all essential to preventing youth suicide.

When my friend died by suicide, no one around me knew what to say or how to help. At twelve years old, I had to learn about suicide through the grief of losing a friend. To prevent others from facing what I went through, I believe that educators and parents should start age-appropriate conversations about mental health earlier. This can help ensure that every child knows they are not alone and where to turn to for support if they need it.

Changing school cultures and breaking down mental health barriers requires time, intention, and effort—but I believe it’s worth it to potentially save lives among our youth.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with substance use or an emotional crisis, help is available. Text or call 988 or chat 988lifeline.org to speak with a caring counselor 24/7.