Finding Connection in Isolation: Online Peer Support and Overcoming Loneliness

Exactly four days before the COVID-19 shutdown began, my world came crashing down when my dad passed away. During this time, I was stuck at home and rotting in bed all day. I desperately wanted to inform my friends about what was going on in my life, but I felt like no one would understand my situation. I was worried that my friends would shower me with pity or express their shock but provide no clarity or hope. Without having another person my age to talk to with shared experiences, I struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Teens today are feeling increasingly lonely. In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued an advisory that social isolation and loneliness are becoming an epidemic in the United States. This epidemic has become most noticeable among young people, especially coming out of the COVID-19 pandemic. A study by Gallup and Meta found that 1 in 4 teens between 15 and 18 years old report feeling “very lonely” or “fairly lonely.” Additionally, Monitoring the Future, a national survey of adolescents, revealed that the number of social outings for the typical eighth grader has dwindled from about 2.5 a week in 2000 to 1.5 in 2021. 

The repercussions of loneliness are both physical and psychological. According to Dr. Murthy’s advisory, loneliness can be as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Furthermore, youth who experience prolonged periods of loneliness are at a higher risk for psychological issues and suicidal behavior. The loneliness epidemic is deeply intertwined with the crisis in youth mental health. 

In November, Felipe, a high schooler in my town, died by suicide. After the tragedy, I spoke with his mother, who informed me of the challenges that Felipe had faced: he had no friends or support systems at school. 

That next week, I sent out a survey to high schoolers in my community to better understand the mental health challenges that teens are facing and what kinds of support are missing. While over half of the survey participants reported receiving some sort of professional support, these participants still reported that professional help was not enough and that they preferred talking to “a friend their age who understands what they’re going through.” 

This desire for teen-to-teen peer support went beyond just the survey participants. When I perused online teen mental health forums, I found out early that all of the posts ended with a line like “Anyone else experiencing this?” Clearly, kids want friends their age—not adults—to talk to in a relatable situation. 

Most kids will seek to find this peer connection at school; but for many, in-person relationships may not be a viable option. Youth who tend to face issues of loneliness likely have already ruled out the possibility of using existing school relationships as a means of peer support. Often, teens will thus resort to finding connections online, joining social media apps or more specialized online platforms and forums for peer support.

Online peer support platforms can provide a lifeline for teens who feel isolated. They offer a space where teens can share their experiences, receive validation, and find comfort in knowing they are not alone in their struggles. The anonymity of these platforms can also be a significant advantage, allowing teens to open up more freely without fear of judgment or stigma. 

Moreover, these platforms can complement professional mental health services. While professional help is essential, it may not always be accessible to youth initially. A study in the US in 2020 found that 2 in 3 kids with personal mental health or family issues do not feel comfortable talking to an adult and or are unable to afford professional help. Peer support can thus fill in the gaps, serving as the intermediary step for teens who are not yet comfortable with speaking to an adult but would be open to getting support from their peers. 

However, it is crucial to ensure that these platforms are well-moderated and that participants are equipped with the tools and resources they need to support each other effectively. Parents and teachers often raise concerns about online peer support platforms: Is it safe? Is it actually doing more harm than good? Training peer supporters in active listening, empathy, and crisis management can enhance the quality of support provided. Additionally, incorporating safeguards such as anonymous reporting and crisis intervention protocols can help mitigate potential risks.

Ultimately, while online peer support is not a panacea, it represents a valuable component of a multifaceted approach to addressing the mental health crisis among teens. By embracing these platforms thoughtfully and responsibly, we can provide teens with the connections they desperately need, helping to alleviate the loneliness epidemic and fostering a more resilient, supportive community. 

When I think back to the 12-year-old me during the pandemic who felt alone and lost, I realize that I could have benefited greatly from online peer support. There is always a community of support for you out there. Despite how scary and challenging the world may seem, you are never alone. 

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org/chat.