How To Date an Extrovert

Dating.  Oh, dating.  It can be so much fun.  It can also come with some heavy emotional baggage, especially when you struggle with your mental health.  When do you tell the person you are dating about your mental illness? How do you say it? What will they say? How will they respond? There are so many different variables that giving advice about dating when you have a mental illness can seem like an impossible task.  I can’t tell you the best time to tell someone that you struggle with depression.  I can’t tell you how they will react.  I can, however, share with you my experiences with dating someone who is my opposite.

I am an introvert and I have been dating an extrovert for a little over a year now.  I have been dating my boyfriend, Carson.  He is so good to me. I am disgustingly in love, but it didn’t start out that way.  I will be honest and tell you that I didn’t like Carson very much when I first met him. He was so popular, bubbly, and social.  He was the walking definition of an extrovert.  I guess it wasn’t that I didn’t like him, but I was jealous.  I struggle with being an introvert.  I want to be social and bubbly, but it never feels right.  It isn’t me.  Overtime, my jealousy of Carson turned into infatuation and we’ve been together ever since.  The road of our relationship has been bumpy, but it is worth it. While I can’t give general dating advice,  I’d like to share some tips that have helped me.

Take Care of Yourself

When you are an introvert and you date an extrovert, you may find yourself in some very social situations. The problem with this is introverts prefer to keep to themselves, and can be easily exhausted in social situations. I had to convince Carson many times that I did like his friends, I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I am just quiet when I meet new people. I had to help Carson understand that I need a day or two to recharge before another event.

 Compromise

Extroverts think differently than introverts. They usually have the capacity to go, go, go and do new things. Carson loves to go do things, and try new places.  I prefer to stay home, or stick to my norm. The best thing to do in this situation is compromise. You can stay in and order pizza one night, but the next night you can go check out the new restaurant and maybe dress up a little.

Communicate and Find Balance

When I discussed this blog with my introverted best friend, we agreed on everything about dating an extrovert. Then, I asked Carson what it was like to date an introvert. He expressed how difficult it was for him at first.  He wanted to introduce his new boyfriend to everyone and I just wanted to be invisible.  This goes to show that there are two sides to every story.  It is important for everyone’s feelings to be heard and taken into consideration.

Overall, dating can be very fun. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and make sure that both parties are happy. Love and be Loved, my fellow daters!