Navigating Intergenerational Friendships

When I arrived at college, I was very scared. Anxious thoughts circled my mind: What if people don’t like me? What if I can’t make any friends? What if I was going to be totally alone? Freshman orientation did little to ease my fears. While others seemed to easily find friends and form friend groups, I struggled to connect with anyone. This only fueled my anxiety. 

One week later, I attended my first Evanston Lighthouse Rotary Club meeting, and I knew I had finally found my people. Everyone was so kind and so warm; for the first time since starting college, I felt at home, which was a huge relief. 

The catch? Our average club member is well over age 65. At first, I was apprehensive about admitting that most of my friends are more than double my age. Over time, I have become proud to claim and celebrate my fellow Rotarians. 

I have benefitted so much from my intergenerational friendships. My Rotary friends help me navigate adult life with their thoughtful insights and experiences while also being amazingly fun to spend time with. Best of all, they are the most reliable friends I have. I know they are always there for me during any emergency, big or small. I am so grateful to have them in my life.

I am not the only one to benefit from my intergenerational friendships; in fact, 37% of Americans have a close friend who is more than 15 years their senior (Levy and Thayer). Among those with intergenerational friendships, 90% say these relationships bring them something unique, whether it be inspiration, companionship, or hope (Levy and Thayer).

For older adults, intergenerational relationships bring better self-esteem and increase the amount of social contact they maintain (Gamliel and Gabay). Physically, they also improve memory retention and reduce the chance of long-term physical disability (Flora and Faulkner). Above all, these bonds give older adults a sense of purpose and allow them to participate fully in society (Gamliel and Gabay). Therefore, I believe intergenerational relationships are valuable for older adults to pursue.

These friendships also offer immense benefits for younger adults. Intergenerational relationships are linked to lower rates of drug and alcohol use, improved communication skills, and reduced symptoms of depression (Moorman). They also improve school attendance and provide young people with more confidence in their future overall (Rossberg-Gempton et. al). 

Evidence strongly suggests the transformative mental health benefits of intergenerational relationships for both older and young adults. Still, these bonds can be hard to find. Nevertheless, there are several ways to seek and form intergenerational friendships.

If you want to diversify your friend groups as a young adult, first examine who you regularly speak to during your typical day. For example, intergenerational bonds are most frequently forged in the workplace, faith-based communities, and neighborhood living (Barna); this suggests that friendships are most readily formed in our daily routines. To make new friends, I think it is best to meet new people in your natural habitat. 

Another route is to join a multigenerational social group, like Rotary International. Other examples of these groups include faith communities, sports leagues, volunteer groups, and art classes. This way, you can make new friends while also pursuing a hobby you love. 

Outside of Rotary, I have also made older friends by advocating for causes ranging from local birds to public health. Having a shared vision for the future can make sparking relationships easier and more fluid. Activism also establishes a common interest, so it’s easier to initiate conversation. 

My intergenerational friendships have profoundly impacted my life. Remaining open-minded when forming new relationships can bring unique benefits to people of all ages and backgrounds, often improving mental health, providing a sense of purpose, and fostering a more diverse community. By being open-minded to new connections, anyone can experience the transformative power of friendships that span across unique life experiences, backgrounds, identities, and even generations.

Works Cited:

Barna. (2023, August 16). Two-thirds of Americans have multigenerational friendships. Barna Group. barna.com/research/multigenerational-friendships/ 

Flora PK, Faulkner GE. Physical activity: an innovative context for intergenerational programming. J Intergener Relatsh. 2007;4(4):63–74.

Gamliel T, Gabay N. Knowledge exchange, social interactions, and empowerment in an intergenerational technology program at school. Educ Gerontol. 2014;40(8):597–617.

Moorman, S (2023, March 14). Age integration in the social convoys of young and late midlife adults. Advances in Life Course Research. sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1040260823000151 

Rossberg-Gempton IE, Dickinson JV, Poole G. Creative dance: potentiality for enhancing social functioning in frail seniors and young children. Arts Psychother. 1999;26(5):313–327.

Thayer, C. T., & Levy, V. (n.d.). The positive impact of intergenerational friendships. AARP. aarp.org/research/topics/life/info-2019/friendship-across-the-ages.html