KristinMental illnesses are often misunderstood and can carry many unique stigmas. This makes it really hard to tell a friend or family member you are struggling with a mental illness. I have depression and whenever it is brought up, no matter how well meaning someone is, I always feel a bit ashamed. These conversations can make me feel like I did something wrong to deserve my depression or I caused it in some way.
Here are four things I’ve observed when trying to talk with someone about my depression and some tips on handling the conversation:
Expect Questions
Do not expect to be immediately understood. For someone who doesn’t have the everyday struggle of depression, it can be a really difficult thing to understand. Your friendswill likely have a lot of questions for you, so just try to be patient and know they are asking because they care about you.
Expect to be Offended
Sometimes, when people don’t know a lot about depression, you’ll get questions or comments that are just infuriating, or at least they are for me. Some of these can include “Why don’t you stop being so negative?”, “Why can’t you just be happy?” or “You have a good life, what do you have to be depressed about?” Keep in mind, your friend isn’t trying to be cruel or rude to you, they just want to know what you are going through and how to help you. Try explaining what depression actually is and that it is not something that you can just “snap out of.”
Expect Weirdness
It’s always odd when telling someone a secret or something serious for the first time. Some people react with sadness, some people react with shock, some people think it’s no big deal, and some people have no idea how to react. When I get nervous or feel awkward I tend to giggle ridiculously, which may be a highly inappropriate reaction to someone telling me they have a mental illness. Just be prepared to deal with various reactions, as everyone feels and thinks differently and everyone has different preconceived notions about mental illness.
Expect Concern
If someone really cares about you, of course they will be concerned when you tell them you’ve been diagnosed with depression. Sometimes this concern can be taken too far though. Clarify that you don’t need to be constantly babysat or checked on. Let your friend know that if you need someone to talk to you will come to him or her, but you don’t necessarily want to be asked multiple times a day if you’re okay. When you tell them about your depression, try telling them how they can help, and what things are not helpful for you.
Depression is a tough subject to talk about. No conversation about depression is going to be an easy or comfortable one. However, being open about how you feel and what you are going through is important. It can help you build a solid support system and ultimately your friends and family will appreciate that you let them know what was going on.
Mackenzie H.
Greta
Comments
69I told my bestfriend about my depression and ishe said “aww girl i feel ya :(“ which i feel like was very dissmissive and i’m kind of pissed off And it only made me feel worse. Idk what to do
I’m sorry that you are feeling depressed. If you need to talk to someone, you are not alone, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) We are available 24/7 We care.
Sometime i told one of my friend that i am depressed, she just laughed at my face and ask why would i depressed about
hi
I want to tell someone but I don’t know how…
Thank you for your post and reaching out. Please know that you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @ 800-273-8255. There will be a counselor available to talk to you 24/7. You do not have to struggle alone.
My name is Marvin I try to commit suicide when I was 11 I fail later when I was 13 I cut my veins and I survive I don’t know how I’m 15 years old and depression is still in my life I’m thinking on Jumping from a 10 floor building I’m on my way
Marvin, we’re so sorry for all the struggles you are going through and we want to help. No matter how hard things are- killing yourself is never the answer. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential, and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you.
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I want to tell my guidence concellor or my teacher but im super shy and i think keeping it in is fine. I dont want to waste their time and i hope i just get over it. and im scared they’ll tell my parents. i dont want them to be stressed over me
Khushi, calling can be scary for most people but reaching out for help is the most important thing you can do for yourself. We believe in your strength. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!
my parents and i don’t have a good relationship and i don’t know how i can tell them. ik they’re gonna ask me questions but half of the reason i’m depressed is bc i’ve never had parents who were actually there for me
Alyssa, we are sorry that you are struggling with this issue. Please know that you can call and talk to a counselor at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255 anytime of the day or night. You do not have to struggle alone.
Sometime i told one of my friend that i am depressed, she just laughed at my face and ask why would i depressed about.. and i feel hurt. And after that i decided to be alone than to hang out with them
Camille, we are sorry to hear you had this hurtful experience with your friend. If you need someone to talk to, the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!
Hi, my name is Kay,
I have to go through a lot of changes this year. I’m afraid to tell my family about me, possibly about having depression. I feel they would try to find a logical explanation as to why I think this way and try to believe that this would be the only to solve that. However, it’s been going on for two years. The single people who know me about having this is my boyfriend and best friend. From school. I’ve been explaining to them how I feel, but I don’t know if they fully understand what I am going through. I know they are trying their best to understand, I feel sensitive to everything. There are times I just wanna go and cry. I feel overwhelmed and I don not know what to do?
Kay, The Lifeline is here for anyone struggling with difficult emotions. It sounds like you are having a really difficult time coping. The call is free and confidential, so don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!
I have suffered the loss of many people i loved and past traumatic experiences i think i may have depression but its been hard finding people who i can talk to when i feel i need to talk and have been having a hard time building up the courage to tell people
Ruby, we’re so sorry for all the struggles you are going through with your losses and we want to help. If you need someone to talk to, remember that the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!
What if I finally pluck up some courage to tell someone and they just ignore it? Like no comment at all, changing the topic… I try to not take it personally, but it’s impossible.
No matter how sympathetic a person is toward me, I can’t help but feel embarrassed anytime the subject of my sadness is brought up. Conversations like this might make me feel that my sadness is my fault or that I deserved it.
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This is not getting the attention it needs, especially for the children affected by the insane policies of governments to keep them indoors for over a year.
Nicole- Hello, we’re so sorry for all the struggles you are going through and we want to help. If life ever feels like it’s not worth living, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential, and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you. However, the Lifeline is a US based service only. Please visit https://findahelpline.com/ to find out about service providers
in your area.
I want to tell someone but I don’t know how…
great site
Damn! really loved your writing. Thanks a lot for this informative post.
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment.
Thank, bro.
I find it very exciting what questions they have asked themselves and how well they have answered them.
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. We appreciate it!
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. We appreciate it!
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. We appreciate it!
this is best for everyone.
best for everyone
Interesting Topic!
People don’t realize how severe this disease is
Great website 🙂 Thanks bro! 😀
Damn! really loved your writing. Thanks a lot for this informative post.
Damn! really loved your writing. Thanks a lot for this informative post.
Really love your writing, this is really help me when i’m depressed, hope this can be help for other people!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
Thank you very much for this website !
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thanks you
I have the same problem, great article.
good article, people should talk about this problem
good article, people should talk about it
I really appreciate for this article…
Very good article, people should open up and tell their loved ones what is going on
Useful article, i agree, people should open up
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depression is hard
Filmy Online, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. Depression is hard, and it can make it harder to reach out. Please, if you ever feel alone don’t hesitate to give us a call by dialing 988. If you are outside of the US please visit this website for services in your area: https://findahelpline.com/
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Thank you for sharing your insights and tips on discussing depression with others. It’s crucial to address the stigma surrounding mental health and promote open conversations. Your observations and advice can be helpful for both individuals dealing with depression and their friends and family.
Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. We appreciate it!
Great info, thanks