AnnaGrowing up, I never thought I was gay. As a child, surrounded by the stories of Disney princesses and The Notebook, I developed romantic tunnel vision, seeing the only path to happiness as one that ended like the stories I so happily devoured. My avid imagination spurred my fantasies into intricate tales of me and my prince, happily together in a stone cottage overlooking the sea, surrounded by our prodigious ginger children. My naturally introverted nature strengthened my dependency on these fairy tales. I believed everything that wasn’t falling into place now, would when I was older.
I was fourteen when I met Rachel. What I felt for her would take almost two years to say out loud. During this time, I learned first hand the difficulties, and misconceptions, of coming out to myself and to others. There is not one way to accept yourself, as there is not one way to fall in love, or to be happy, or to pick your favorite color. This is the most frustrating advice, as it seems like an overgeneralized, detached statement about a very personal experience. Often times it’s misinterpreted to mean you will have to face your journey alone.
But it is neither of these things. Although you will have to make a personal journey, you do not have to go about it by yourself. In fact, it’s often very helpful and comforting to have an ally during that time. It can be a close friend or family member, with whom you feel safe with and encouraged by. Finding a support group or club can also be helpful to find people who personally understand what you’re going through. If none of these options are available, turn to your computer. The internet has allowed for the creation of hundreds of online communities and support systems. Organizations such as The Trevor Project also provide assistance through internet chat and other resources.
It may seem like a very scary thing to externalize what you are feeling when you are questioning. By saying, “I might be queer,” you are not labeling yourself as LGBTQ, and vice versa. If you talk about what you are experiencing, you may be able to better understand yourself. Know that coming out to yourself is going to most likely be strange, emotional, and in no way perfect. There is no rational way of going about it. Love is possibly the most irrational element of human nature, and knowing who you love corresponds with that. It is easiest to go about sexuality with an open mind. Love and hate do not mix well together, and trying to find your orientation while surrounded by negative thoughts can be very difficult.
In the end, coming out will be what it will be. There’s days when I wake up and wish that I wasn’t gay. But when those times happen? I make myself look back at how unhappy I was before I came out, and then I continue to enjoy the simple beauty of being able to be myself.
A couple days ago, the girl I am dating gave me a book. It’s a modern version of Cinderella, where a girl falls in love with a female warrior. Maybe I couldn’t get my prince, but I found there’s lots of other fairy tales I can create for myself.
…And so can you.
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Comments
307I wished that i can be this honest i wish i had someone to make me feel everything is gonna be just fine its really lonely and darkk in here everyday is harder i wish u would always be happy and wishh god to be with u and to forgive u and forgive us for our sins
Rrrrr,
We’re so sorry for all the struggles you are going through and we want to help. Whenever you’re feeling lonely, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK. The call is free and confidential, and crisis workers are there 24/7 to assist you. We hope to hear from you soon.
Everything is going to be alright. Just trust His process and always seek guidance from above.
Hope everything is fine with you right now.
Hey Rrrrr, I hope you’re feeling well now. I’m so sorry you felt that way. Praying for you!
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Hey Rrrrr, how are you doing now?
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i really want to be like u right now. i really have knife in my hand i dont know what i am going to do with my life. everyone is so mean and they hate me. god please dont make me do this
Jamie, Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline @800-273-8255. We care about you and want to help you. Your life matters to us.
hey jamie, how are you doing now, a year later?
Johnny Lee, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now – remember, the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us, your life matters!
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Life is full of misery and you just have to calm yourself. Think of your life’s purpose and don’t be swayed by life’s misfortune. keep on holding life.
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Hopefully, everything is good now.
Life is full of misery and you just have to calm yourself.
Hello Carlos, thank you for reaching out to our community here and sharing your story. Remember that the Lifeline is here for you, 24/7/365 at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
omg please dont do that!!!!
I think I’m a lesbian and have attempted suicide before. A lot. (I look up to Hayley Kiyoko) I am a sophomore, when I was in eighth grade, I fell for a sophomore. She/He is a Female to Male transgender. I am still in love with her and unable to move on. My family did not like the fact that ‘she’ was a ‘girl’ and pulled me out of school and I am now online school. She treated me better than anyone ever has. I have recently been thinking about ending everything just to feel nothing at all. I don’t want to continue through this and I don’t think I can do this anymore.
Hello Chey, No matter how hard things are – hurting yourself is never the answer. The Lifeline is here for you any time day or night at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Don’t hesitate to call us for extra support. Your life matters!
hey. My name is marleen. All my life ive been fighting for my depression. I have a long story to this. If you want, you can keep reading.
I was a very happy girl. But something took it away. I lost control of myself, And I don’t even know what kind of emotions I had. Since I moved, Everything CHANGED.
School, Friends, everything. Everyone was being nice to me at one point. then it all vanished. Friends turned into enemies. School turned into a horror movie. I was scared of the WORLD. I would cry in the bathroom for HOURS, I just wanted to be alone. I was thinking of how happy I was , but then it all vanished. I talked to my mom and dad about my problems, they would try to help me out a little. I was scared of school. Everyone would fight with me, and bully me . for no reason. Sometimes I would cut myself. I wanted to find happiness and peace. And , still, nothing. I do not like complaining, or telling my problems to anyone. But sometimes you need to let it out. When I was 12 I would try to find a way to happiness, and I kind of did. I was deppressed since I was 11, Now im 13, And I’m finally enjoying life again. I’m as happy as a hummingbird. I got out of depression By spending time cooking with my mom, or friends & I start enjoying that fresh air. Spending to much time on your phone is waste. I would recommend to go out and eat, or read a book. Find what that path of yours wants to do. Don’t and please Don’t try to commit suicide, it will take so much valuable time of yours. If you need help, I’m right here. Or call the lifeline. ( 1-800-273-TALK- (8255). Don’t keep things to yourself. You are loved every year, every month, and every second. <3
Hello Marleen, Thank you so much for sharing your story and providing hope for other that things can get better. I am very happy to hear that all that you have been through that you were able to make things better for you. The Lifeline crisis counselors are here for anyone any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential. Reach out and let us help you through.
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hi my name is bob
Hello Bob, Thank you for writing to us Our You Matter Blog page is not meant for any type of crisis intervention, however the Lifeline crisis counselors are here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The call is free and confidential. Reach out and let us help you through.
Well, I understand what everyone is going though because, I was and still is there, I have depression and I think i’m bisexul? I don’t really know, I do have an interest toweds males and females, but I think I like females more I guess.
Carrie, if you need someone to talk to about these things, remember that the Lifeline is here for you any time day or night, every day of the year at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Your life matters!
Dang life can be so confusing, especially when I started realising I was Bi. I was so confused when I started liking girls because all I saw in society was boy+girl relationships, and all tv was telling me that it was non-existent. Than I started seeing LGBTQ+ groups online and like about any person like me I started joining them. I met so many amazing people like me! But every here and there I get those mean side comments like “Pick one” or “don’t have a crush on me” But I can tel all of you, love is love .
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Hey I’m isabella and i’m 9 years old i believe in god but i am bisexual and i once i came out to my mom as lesbian she did not approve at all i feel like i’m hiding in some kind of darkness. sometimes i feel as if i wanna beat someone but i know i can’t . i feel trapped and i’m always shaking when i was little since 1st grade to 4rth i had atleast 1 crush but everyone rejected me. “your too little this” “your so obnoxious” “you need to loose weight” “your too much this” they’d say. i’d cry almost every single day and every time i go on this website i feel safe and supported and i feel someone understands me.
i hope you’re okay sweetie <3
Hey, I hope you are doing well now Isabela.
Wow it’s Really nice information sir ji
Coming out is one of the most difficult thing to do.
Right but difficult as it may, you have to be true to yourself.
Finding a support group or club can also be helpful to find people who personally understand what you’re going through. I am straight yet i understand what you feel. 🙂
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You got me with that qoute. No one can dictate what is right for you. Keep in mind that you are the master of yourself
I hope everyone is okay.
This quote “There is not one way to accept yourself, as there is not one way to fall in love, or to be happy, or to pick your favorite color. ” I want to hug everyone now. Please stay strong.
We all deserve to be respected no matter what, for me, coming out is the secret to happiness.
I agree to you. I really hope he still happy.
Dont be afraid to show your true colors. We are here with you
If you feel like you’re afraid, I’ll hold your hand along the way.
I truly understand your crisis. I really hope you are happy.
The internet has allowed for the creation of hundreds of online communities and support systems.
My avid imagination spurred my fantasies into intricate tales of me and my prince, happily together in a stone cottage overlooking the sea, surrounded by our prodigious ginger children.
Do what you love. Life is too short, be yourself and be happy. Best of luck!
Be happy and be yourself! There’s always people that will support you! Good luck.
Great quotes. I agree on what LGBTQ beliefs. They deserve a big respect.
You should be proud. LGBTQ deserve a big respect. nice quote by the way.
Great quote! Just show your true self. Don’t mind other people. We support LGBTQ
Great quote! Just show your true self. Don’t mind other people. We support LGBTQ
Do what’s right for you and what makes you happy.
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I would recommend to go out and eat, or read a book. Find what that path of yours wants to do. Don’t and please Don’t try to commit suicide, it will take so much valuable time of yours.
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The internet has allowed for the creation of hundreds of online communities and support systems.
The internet has allowed for the creation of hundreds of online communities and support systems.
can be a very difficult process. Our society strongly enforces codes of behavior regarding sexual orientation and gender identity
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My vivid thoughts of me and my prince living happily ever after in a stone home overlooking the sea with our prolific ginger children were inspired by my vivid imagination.
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My best friend came out a few months ago and it was a life-changing experience for her, her friends, and her family. We are all so proud of her!
The internet has allowed for the creation of hundreds of online communities and support systems.
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Everything will be all right. Trust God for his process and seek divine guidance.
That’s okay, just be true to yourself.
There are always people who will support you. Keep fighting for your happiness!
Just know that you’re not the only one struggling with this. Keep on keeping on!
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No matter how hard things are – hurting yourself is never the answer.
I am very happy to hear that all that you have been through that you were able to make things better for yourself.
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Life is is a journey, so enjoy every single moment.
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To all people who are still afraid to come out, keep in mind that society today accepts us for who we are compared to what we are experienced in the past decades. don’t waste your time overthinking! You are loved. 🙂
To all people who are still afraid to come out, keep in mind that society today accepts us for who we are compared to what we are experienced in the past decades. don’t waste your time overthinking! You are loved.
I do believe that one day you will not regret everything you’ve done especially if that makes you happy and live freely. All I can say to whoever are struggling about coming out take your time and just focus on yourself.
Yes, I definitely agree with you Amandad, in this world we need to focus on ourselves than worrying about other’s opinion.
Although coming out can be difficult, it can also be a very liberating and freeing process. You may feel like you can finally be authentic and true to who you are. You may find a whole community of people like you and feel supported and inspired. Even if it’s scary to think about coming out to others, sometimes the reward can be worth the challenge that coming out entails.
Although coming out can be difficult, it can also be a very liberating and freeing process. You may feel like you can finally be authentic and true to who you are. You may find a whole community of people like you and feel supported and inspired. Even if it’s scary to think about coming out to others, sometimes the reward can be worth the challenge that coming out entails.
Be prepared for an initially negative reaction from some people. Some individuals need more time than others to come to adjust to what they have heard from you.
If you have already come out to others whom you trust, alert them that you are coming out and make time to talk afterward about how things went. Find trusted allies who can help you cope with your experiences.
Once you accept that you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, you can decide to be out to others or to stay “in the closet.” You are the only person who can decide when and how it is safe to come out.
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I do have big respect to our brother and sisters who are part of LGBTQ and I believe that we should have all the same respect.
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Follow your heart! I’m sure there are lots of support waiting for you after coming out. 🙂
Follow your heart! I’m sure there are lots of support waiting for you after coming out.
I’m sure there are lots of support waiting for you after coming out.
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I hope someday, there would be no issue about LGBTQ. They deserve to be treated equally as a human-being.
I hope someday, there would be no issue about LGBTQ. They deserve to be treated equally as a human-being.
Follow your heart! I’m sure there are lots of support waiting for you after coming out.
Some individuals need more time than others to come to adjust to what they have heard from you.
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Be a butterfly. Beautiful and free. I know that it would take a lot of confidence and support to eventually reach that point, but you’ll be able to do it.
Just what’s right for you. That’s all that matters right?
It is still your happiness over the judgment of others. It doesn’t matter what people will say. 🙂
It will be the best if you focus on your happiness this time.
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There’s no one “right” way to come out. Do what feels right for you and be true to yourself. #ComingOut
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No matter who you are, if you don’t first love yourself and accept who you are, you will never be truly happy and will always be worried about what others think.
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Joining a support group or club can connect you with people who understand your experiences, even if you are straight
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Coming out as gay can be a difficult and emotionally challenging experience for many individuals. It often involves facing societal prejudices and discrimination, as well as potential rejection from friends and family.
Be who you are, no matter what society says, you are you, and love who you love.
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It often means facing discrimination and racism in society, as well as the possibility of being turned down by friends and family. Just be yourself!
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Coming out is a personal and emotional journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It refers to the process of revealing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity to others, often to family, friends, or colleagues. There is no one “right” way to come out, as everyone’s experiences and circumstances are unique. Some people choose to come out gradually, while others prefer to do so in a more public and direct way. The important thing is to do what feels right for oneself, taking into consideration personal safety, support networks, and individual preferences. Coming out can be a liberating and empowering experience, allowing individuals to live authentically and with pride.
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I remember when my family member came out. It was very difficult for them but we love them no matter what
I rather read all of this to make me realize something
Thank you for sharing your personal journey and insights with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about such a personal topic, and your words will undoubtedly help others who may be struggling with similar feelings. It’s so important to have a support system, whether that be in the form of loved ones or online communities, during times of self-discovery. Keep being true to yourself and create your own fairy tales!
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This is some insanely great stuff, wow! I have never read anything so powerful and profound in my life. You should really keep this stuff going with your blog.
Did my comment go through? Just wondering.
Thanks a lot for sharing this article with us, I hope that this helps a lot of people that are going through a difficult time! I would like to recommend my favorite HVAC company in Gainesville fl
Coming out is okay you just need to find the right time for it!
Go do it if you want. That’s your life to live anyways.
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A fiend of mine is going through this with her daughter… after reading this I understand the mental trauma coming out of the closet at a young age can cause. Thanks for sharing.
This is a great article thank you.
This is inspiring. Thank you for posting it. A lot of people will benefit from this.
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Thank you so much for these words. They really helped today and will continue to do so!
Thank you for these words. I really appreciate the help!
These article are very much inspiring to all of us.. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your story, this gives inspiration to lots of people that are also experiencing the same as you.
Thanks a ton for all the help and motivating words. It helps a whole lot.